In preparing for a career day speech I’m giving at a local high school tomorrow, I came across an old quote attributed to Woody Allen. 70% of success in life is just showing up. I could not disagree more.

On the contrary, I believe in this global economy employees and managers, self-employed and unemployed, kids and adults need to do more than just show up. In fact, this may be part of our problem. I mean, what if the problems in the economy are just a symptom of something else? What if the problems aren’t off-shoring, Millennials, retiring Baby Boomers, or any other external factors? What if the real problem is us and the way we think?

Granted, the drain on the workforce by the retirement of older generations, sending jobs to other countries, and the freezing of lending capital are real problems, but I believe they are a sign that something else has gone astray. We have gone astray.

Everywhere I turn I see signs of entitlement and a sense of being victimized. People feel as if they’ve lost control and they are looking for someone or something to blame. What they’re missing is that while there are many things that happen outside of our control, we can control our reaction to what happens. It’s called personal responsibility and it seems to have been seeping out of the human fiber for a while now. Time to work it back in!

I’ve been hearing and reading a lot from both sides on the pros and cons of bailing out the auto industry. The latest topic – the CEO’s came to Washington to make a case for their bailout in their private corporate jets. Huh.

As a business person, I am pretty certain that the cost of these private jets isn’t the problem behind their need for a bailout. On the expense sheet, I am guessing they’re a pretty small percentage – a blip on the screen. However, I do think they’re a symptom and message.

They are a symptom of entitlement. People are worried about losing their job, retirees are faced with losing their health insurance, and the execs are flying in luxury. How much do the employees TRUST that their leaders are working on their behalf?

They are also sending a message that you (the employee or retiree) can suffer, but we’re immune to these changes. Sure, we have to grovel to the government for money to save us, but we’re not giving up anything personally to do it. Whether that’s true or not, actions speak louder than words. Just because we’ve always done doesn’t make it right now.

I happen to be listening to a webinar by AMA and they are reaffirming my thoughts. Companies with a corporate culture that brings out the best in their employees – empowers them - have been shown to perform better in the marketplace.

Their study shows that the biggest problems with most companies today are:

- they do not foster trust
- they are not innovative
- they don’t respond quickly or well to change

Does any of that sound the like problems the automakers are facing? I’m not convinced that a financial bailout will fix any of that. Mitt Romney agrees. The problem runs deep – through the culture of the companies themselves. Unfortunately I think there are a lot more companies out there who are experiencing the same challenges at different levels.

My new mission, and that of Path Forward, is to help companies build a culture of empowerment. That’s the only way we’re going to continue to be competitive in this new, innovation economy.

I was recently talking with a good friend of mine about her continuing struggle with the decision to work or stay home after she becomes a mom. She absolutely wants to keep working, but she gets continual flack from her husband’s family. She’s torn. I shared with her a paper that my daughter wrote a couple of weeks ago that I now have pinned to my bulletin board. After reading it (and wiping the tears from my eyes), I realized she was crying too. She then begged me to post the letter, to share it with other women. I wasn’t sure because it felt self-aggrandizing but she convinced me that the letter is NOT about me. It is about every mother out there who questions whether she’s doing the right thing by her children. It is about the power of living a fulfilled life and proof that your kids DO see through whatever it is you’re doing. Once my daughter said it was OK, I decided to post it. You can read it on my Momblog on Working Mother Magazine’s website.

Over the past couple of months, I’ve been conducting unofficial research into the source of women’s confidence. It all started in South Africa. My friend Claire showed up for a meeting in THESE BOOTS. I actually noticed her stance and expression when she first sauntered into the room. She sported a look that said SUCCESS. The second thing I noticed was her boots. They were awesome. And it didn’t hurt that she is 6’2” barefoot. She was literally on top of the world. When I asked her about the boots she confessed: whenever she put them on, she felt invincible.

Fast forward almost three months and a couple of time zones away in Bahrain. The women there don’t follow a formula for dressing for success, but they certainly know how to do it. What we would call ‘bling’ in the U.S. was REAL there, from the gems to the branded bags. And the SHOES. HOT. I continued my informal investigation and every woman I talked to reported an increased level of confidence when she felt good about how she looked. For some, it was a special pair of shoes. For others, it was new jewelry or even the entire outfit. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought, it was all about the way they felt.

Right or wrong, how we feel on the outside can affect how we feel on the inside. At least it can for the women polled in my un-scientific completely subjective survey.  So what makes you feel confident? Does how you dress change the way you feel? 

This past week, I had the privilege of being a Corporate Ambassador at a conference in Bahrain hosted by the Bahrain Businesswomen’s Society (BBS), supported financially from the U.S. by the State Department’s MEPI program and facilitated by Vital Voices. I was invited to talk about women’s leadership but ended up learning more from the exchange than I taught.

First, I was humbled by the gracious welcome and hospitality given to us by the women leaders of the BBS. We were given the opportunity to experience the culture through food and dance, not to mention shopping in the market and haggling in Arabic. Just a note: I wasn’t speaking Arabic, but our driver accompanied us into the Souk (shopping district) to shop and helped make sure we got the best deals. We even had dinner at a palace, Shaikha Mariam’s house (INCREDIBLE!). I had heard of the graciousness and generosity of the Arabic people but this trip exceeded my expectations.

Second, I was impressed by the strength and fortitude of the women we met. Granted, we were working with the top-tier of women in the country, but their intense desire to help elevate the stature of not only themselves but the rest of the women in their respective countries was incredible. They have some high walls to climb, but their ability to be forceful yet respectful without being confrontational holds great hope that they will succeed in affecting real change in the region.

This was not the first time I had attended an Arab Businesswomen’s conference, but it was my first time in the Persian Gulf. I was somewhat surprised that there were actually greater numbers of women who choose to dress in more modern (albeit expensive!) attire than those who opt for traditional dress. Upon inquiring, I discovered that the women who wore head scarves did so because they chose too, not because someone made them. That seemed to be a different picture than what we get in the press and on TV. I learned that just because women dress with head scarves and body parts covered doesn’t mean they’re being repressed. Again, their dress seemed to be their choice but there is no question that women there do not have anywhere near equal rights…yet.

To glimpse into another culture, especially one so different from your own, is an opportunity everyone should pursue at some point in their life. Not only was it a growth experience, but the exchange shattered preconceived notions on both sides. Truly, getting to know each other is a first step towards peace.

Have you had any great experiences with people from other cultures? What did you learn that surprised you?