My daughter and I had an interesting conversation the other day about her PE class at school. She’s a sophomore in high school and is taking team sports for PE. As one of a handful of girls she is, not unexpectedly, in the minority with a LOT more boys in the class.
Normally, my daughter is fairly aggressive on the sports field. She enjoys getting dirty and doesn’t shy away from a
challenge. In this class, however, she’s been holding back. Playing flag football, she would be open and never get the pass. In volleyball, the ball would be coming right at her and a ball hog (guy) would come from behind and take the shot, never giving her a chance. She got tired of fighting, and decided it wasn’t worth it. It wasn’t worth the fight.
About half way into my walk across the trails of McDonald’s Hamburger U the other morning, I realized the parallels between that adventure and my life. I found myself a bit lost, but next to a lake which, with the rising sun, caught the reflection of the surrounding trees in a breath-taking way. As I slowly looked around the rocks forming the edge of the water, I spied a majestic bird of some sort – perhaps a heron – just basking in the early morning rays. My only regret was that I didn’t have a camera to capture what I saw.
How I got to this lake I had no idea. I was trying to follow a map the hotel had given me but at some point I must have taken a wrong turn. The paths were not well marked and as I result I got “lost” and found myself in an incredible place. I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be. It was a lot like my life.
I’ve taken many unmarked paths in my time, some covered with nasty brush and briars, some clear. I’ve certainly gotten lost a time or two. But somehow, I eventually – always – ended up in an incredible place. Had I obsessed over trying to figure out exactly where I was and how I got there, rather than having faith that I would not only meet my objective (fresh air and exercise for my walk) but that I would also somehow find my way back, I would have missed it. I would have missed a marvelous view and a peaceful, thoughtful moment.
Our actions and words have so much more impact on others than we could ever realize. If you happen to not believe this, just read “The Five People You Meet In Heaven” by Mitch Albom or watch one of my favorite movies, “It’s a Wonderful Life”. As a mother, I know I have an influence on my children although I sometimes don’t see it (or realize they’re even LISTENING TO ME) until way after the fact. When I do hear them repeating something I said or making a good decision based on something I’ve harped on, I feel an incredible sense of satisfaction. I recently was able to feel that same level of gratification in my professional career as well.
When I was in South Africa last year, I was part of a team that spoke at seminars across the region. One of the specific exercises that I led the groups in was in perfecting your elevator pitch. They seemed to really embrace the process while I encouraged people to really think outside the box and work to make their visions a reality.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been outside of my comfort zone. Oh, there was that learning-to-juggle-thing I undertook around this time last year. It only took me a month to master that new trick. It wasn’t something I had ever tried before, so I didn’t expect to be good at it. The failures were anticipated and even a fun part of the journey.
Most people, at least in the U.S. have heard about the recent airplane which, after colliding with a large flock of birds, landed miraculously in the Hudson River with no loss of life (other than avian life and a lot of feathers). In a recent interview with the pilot, I picked up one key lesson for managing in a crisis that can be applied to the current economic and business challenges as they swirl around us.
How many people are insane enough to schedule a radio interview at 8:00 am on New Year’s Day? Yes, my friends last night thought I was crazy. But I’ve enjoyed every past interview with Jim Blasingame, the Small Business Advocate, so much that when they called and asked me to join him on his show this morning I decided to do it. As it turned out, it was a great way to start the first day of a new year.
Jim and I talked about what was going to be required for businesses in 2009. His take on it: don’t be afraid to celebrate mere survival as an accomplishment in 2009. We’re both optimists but you can’t ignore the reality: the tough times aren’t over yet. Check out the recording of our discussion and let me know what you think about it!
For me, though, I see opportunities in tough times. I think this is a great time to remember a couple of key points and work to build on them. While I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions, the following are ideas to keep in focus over the entire year.
1. Your work is not who you are. I ran into this when I cashed out of my first company. I had put so much into it that the separation felt like a painful limb extraction. It took me some time to realize that my business, or my book for that matter, was not my identity. They are merely things I have done. True, actions speak louder than words about our character, but they don’t always have to define us. That’s the great thing about life: we’re given the gift of a new day or a new year to redefine who we are, to change. I believe it is harder to morph the core of who we are, but it can be done. For me the core has remained largely consistent but as I worked to build my faith over the last few years I have seen a resurgence of the things I like about myself and a shrinking of those tendencies and traits I despise and which don’t serve me well, anyway.
I was recently talking with a good friend of mine about her continuing struggle with the decision to work or stay home after she becomes a mom. She absolutely wants to keep working, but she gets continual flack from her husband’s family. She’s torn. I shared with her a paper that my daughter wrote a couple of weeks ago that I now have pinned to my bulletin board. After reading it (and wiping the tears from my eyes), I realized she was crying too. She then begged me to post the letter, to share it with other women. I wasn’t sure because it felt self-aggrandizing but she convinced me that the letter is NOT about me. It is about every mother out there who questions whether she’s doing the right thing by her children. It is about the power of living a fulfilled life and proof that your kids DO see through whatever it is you’re doing. Once my daughter said it was OK, I decided to post it. You can read it on my Momblog on Working Mother Magazine’s website.
This week, I’ve got some guest articles posted over at Life Meets Work. Check out the first: Communicating with Flexible Workers. If you manage employees who aren’t in the office all the time, I would be curious to hear about the challenges you’ve faced and the approaches that work!
The debate that is raging around Governor Sarah Palin’s nomination as the Republican VP candidate got me thinking about a lot of things. I won’t go into them all now, but the one I want to address here is this notion of having it all.
One woman on the Working Mother Magazine’s Momblog seemed concerned that Sarah Palin can’t have it all successfully – something will have to give.
The problem I have with that notion is what the idea of having it all really means. To me, being the Vice President of the United States doesn’t rank anywhere NEAR the vision I have for myself or my family. To me, that is the anti-having-it-all, but that is my point: TO ME. I think having it all is a state of mind. An individual’s mind. That means that it is highly personal. One woman’s all is another woman’s hell.
I am incensed that the topic of work/life balance is back in the spotlight just because a woman with young children is putting her hat in the ring to take on a major leadership role. I’m mad not because work/life balance isn’t a worthy topic (it is one close to my heart) but because of the context in which it is being raised.
I’ve taken many unmarked paths in my time, some covered with nasty brush and briars, some clear. I’ve certainly gotten lost a time or two. But somehow, I eventually – always – ended up in an incredible place. Had I obsessed over trying to figure out exactly where I was and how I got there, rather than having faith that I would not only meet my objective (fresh air and exercise for my walk) but that I would also somehow find my way back, I would have missed it. I would have missed a marvelous view and a peaceful, thoughtful moment.
It’s been a long time since I’ve been outside of my comfort zone. Oh, there was that learning-to-juggle-thing I undertook around this time last year. It only took me a month to master that new trick. It wasn’t something I had ever tried before, so I didn’t expect to be good at it. The failures were anticipated and even a fun part of the journey.
Most people, at least in the U.S. have heard about the recent airplane which, after colliding with a large flock of birds, 
I was recently talking with a good friend of mine about her continuing struggle with the decision to work or stay home after she becomes a mom. She absolutely wants to keep working, but she gets continual flack from her husband’s family. She’s torn. I shared with her a paper that my daughter wrote a couple of weeks ago that I now have pinned to my bulletin board. After reading it (and wiping the tears from my eyes), I realized she was crying too. She then begged me to post the letter, to share it with other women. I wasn’t sure because it felt self-aggrandizing but she convinced me that the letter is NOT about me. It is about every mother out there who questions whether she’s doing the right thing by her children. It is about the power of living a fulfilled life and proof that your kids DO see through whatever it is you’re doing. Once my daughter said it was OK, I decided to post it. You can read it on my 
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