An article in the business section of today’s USA Today caught my attention. More Dad’s Resist Business Travel, made me smile because it reinforces what I found in interviewing entrepreneurs for my book: men care about balance, too.

The article reports that nearly 50% of male senior executives surveyed indicated they were more likely to ask for less travel when negotiating a new job than they were five years ago. Additionally, 55% of the men said they were less willing to consider a job that required heavy business travel because of family demands.

I have suspected all along that men care about balance, primarily because I am married to a man who values flexibility. He believes that it is not just my job as mom to be available for our children – he has always been willing to share the parenting load. We are partners.

When I started looking for business owners to interview for my book, I was somewhat surprised by the number of men that were willing and eager to talk to me about more than just their business, but about their families as well. Across the board, the men I talked with valued their time with their children and felt that their entrepreneurship contributed positively to their kids’ upbringing. They talked as enthusiastically about their children’s accomplishments as they did about their company’s success. And we’re not talking about hobby businesses, here. All of the men (and many of the women) I interviewed had multi-million dollar businesses, and one, Rackspace, is even positioned to reach the $1B mark.

It will be interesting to see if men mirror the growing trend among women of starting businesses in search of flexibility. At a minimum, employers are starting to realize they need to be creative to keep not only women, but men as well. Finding alternatives to travel or allowing employees more control over their schedule is becoming a necessity to retain talent. I am convinced, however, that the best alternative for flexibility is to start your own business. After all, when you own the business you can usually control which 80 hours you work in a week.

What is it about getting older makes us deny our ability to get sick? As my fever began to creep up I heard myself say “I don’t have time to be sick.” Like there is anyone that does? And as if we have a choice? I take care of myself and don’t believe I am under any larger-than-normal amount of stress, but here I am recovering from two days with a fever and a cough that would wake the dead (for those of you that have heard my normal cough, this is MUCH WORSE!). Why does a fever hit so hard after a certain age?

I tried to make meetings and take conference calls – and actually made a few. My apologies to those that had to talk to me or, worse, see me in this condition. Looking back, I should have taken to bed much sooner than I did.

Perhaps getting sick is God’s way of letting us know we have more choices about what we commit to than we think. Life continues on without us. Our kids eat cereal for dinner and live to tell about it. Some meetings get rescheduled and others don’t. The world didn’t end because we didn’t show up. What a liberating thought!

I met Mary Moslander, President & CEO of Live Healthier, when she won the REDI business plan competition. Ruth Semple of the Maryland Technology Development Center had been telling me “You just have to meet Mary – you have so much in common!” Thank you, Ruth, for being right on the money. I owe you a debt of gratitude for introducing me to Mary. From the first 2-3 hour lunch we had (that could have gone on much longer if we didn’t have so many other things to do!), I discovered that I was missing something in my life – girl friends.

You see, I have always been around men. My business was focused on the manufacturing sector, which was at the time decidedly male-dominated. I seemed to get along better with guys – I can even remember lines to stupid movies and use them at an appropriate point in a conversation. Most of my close women friends were people I grew up with, or that knew me from before I started my business. It seems that once I started a business and that business started to become successful, the chasm started to open. I just didn’t fit in anywhere.

I love my children, and having flexibility to be with them was one of the catalysts for me to start my business. But I love what I do for a living, too. I loved writing my book. I love empowering others to find the greatness within themselves. I love creating opportunities by connecting people with each other. I refuse to choose between family and work – it is not an ‘all or nothing’ game for me.

Mary gets that. She is in the same boat. I can tell her about how incredible it felt to see my book on Amazon.com for the first time and she can get excited about it with me. She, in turn, can tell me about being introduced by Susan Lucci at a high-end awards event for which she was asked to present and I can feel thrilled with her. We don’t have to worry that the other will think we are bragging, or somehow insincere. We can just be ourselves while supporting the other to do the same. When you begin achieving a level of success, it is hard to keep supportive friendships in tact. When you find one, figure out a way to keep in touch with them more often.

Mary – we’re on for every third Friday, right?

In a recent e-mail from Margaret Heffernan, author of “How She Does It: How Women Entrepreneurs are changing the rules for business success”, she relayed a story that horrified me. She was speaking at Babson College and one of the students shared a comment from one of her professors. This ‘eminent’ professor told her that she could have a business, she could have a family, but she could not have both. And the Princeton Review recently named Babson College’s MBA Program the “Best Opportunity for Women” for the third year in a row. Hmmmm.

Now, giving this man the benefit of the doubt, I’ll assume he meant that she could not have them at the same time. But would that make it any better? Absolutely not.

This is exactly the type of thinking I am motivated to eradicate. “If you are serious about business, you can’t have a family or if you are a good parent, you can’t be serious about your business.” That is bunk (I would use stronger language, but I am trying to keep it clean). I have several examples I can share, as Margaret did with that student, which prove his comment is nonsense, not to mention dangerous.

Why must we propagate this idea that you can’t do whatever the heck you want? If you want to do it bad enough, you can find a way. And who are we (or who was HE) to tell this young student that she couldn’t do it? Clearly, this teacher is still in the dark ages.

One of the key factors lies in not caring what other people think and doing what works for you. Defining your OWN version of success. In interviewing entrepreneurs for my book, there was indeed a vast difference between how they managed their family and their business. One woman waited until her business was at a ‘stable enough’ point to start her family. Many of the business owners launched their companies after they had already started a family. Many had young kids, some who grew up with the business (like my own daughters).

The problem is that these stories – these entrepreneurs that are serious about their business and their families - are not being told. One woman I interviewed, who happened to own a $70M company, told me she was hesitant to talk about her kids because she was afraid it would make her seem less serious. Isn’t it time that we changed these ancient attitudes and removed the stigma? After all, this is REAL LIFE.