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Lessons about work and life turn up in the most unsuspecting places.

As some of you know, I am trying to learn how to juggle. It seems silly, really, but my goal is to be able to add it to my work/life balance presentations. What better visual of how hard it really is to juggle our lives than to try juggling some balls!

So I haven’t been practicing as much as I should but I have been asking around for a Juggling Coach. Yes, I put that intention out there and the universe answered in an unbelievable way. Last week, I started training a group of awesome women entrepreneurs from South Africa and took my juggling balls with me to see if any of them knew how to juggle and could teach me. No such luck. HOWEVER, as we were leaving a late-night reception around 8:00 pm, we came upon the UMBC Juggling Club, one of many juggling clubs in the area. Who knew!? I was actually ready to continue walking by when my fellow ACTiVATE instructor Renee Lewis (standing next to me in the photo below) pulled me over to them. “You’re not missing this opportunity.” Thank goodness for friends.

We spent the next 45 minutes with a couple of student members of the juggling club as they, well, taught us to juggle. In that brief training session I learned some important lessons not only about mastering the art of juggling but also about life and work:

1. Relax. Don’t try so hard. Just let it happen.

How many times do we take ourselves and whatever crisis we’re reacting to at the moment too seriously? There is a difference between working hard and struggling. I don’t think it is supposed to be a struggle if you’re in the right place pursuing the right things.

2. Slow down. Take the time to find the rhythm and work into it.

Not unlike #1, but distinct in important ways. So often we get going so fast because we think everything is a race. If we can learn to plan a little bit better, we don’t have to live in last-minute mode. I should learn to take my own advice on this one.

3. You will mess up. Accept it and get over it. Oh, and try not to hurt anyone.

Failure is a given when you’re trying something new or big. Be OK with that. I know I’ve said it a million times, if you’re not failing you’re not taking enough risks. Just make sure you learn from it and move on without taking anyone else out along the way.

4. Get bigger balls.

Really! The balls I was trying to learn with were too small. I’ve ordered a set of heavier ones and I’ll let you know how that goes. As for the life and business lessons, I’m going to be careful here because this could get ugly. My point here is that even though it seems like it would be harder to juggle larger objects it is actually easier when you’re training your muscles to remember the motion. You can’t be afraid of what you think might be harder because in reality, it might be just what you need to continue moving forward.

So the bottom line on this for me: be careful what you put out there in the universe – you might just meet a crazy band of jugglers and learn something unexpected! Oh, and the Juggling Club is in the UMBC Commons every Wednesday night from 8:00 - 10:00 pm. They claim that they can teach anyone to juggle if they really want to. Anyone want to join me??

Those of you who know me (or who have seen me in the summer) know that my hair is naturally very curly. God gave me curls and I spend most of my time trying to lose them. So as I was packing for my recent trip to Thailand, I made sure I had a power converter so my hair straightener (called a flat iron) would work. I learned the hard way that I needed one when we were in Italy last year. I guess those 220 volts shooting into my 110 volt appliance wasn’t good - I fried my Chi just by plugging it into the wall. So this time, I was prepared…or so I thought.

The first night I was there I had been out at the pool and walking around town and was badly in need of a shower. I was supposed to meet some folks for dinner so I had to make it quick. Yea, right. When I plugged in the flat iron I didn’t smell that awful odor of electronics burning so I thought I was safe. I wasn’t going to toast two of them, but this one wasn’t even getting hot. Nothing. I tried it in the little shaver outlet in the bathroom too, but didn’t get anything other than a strange hum that couldn’t have been good. Hungry, I decided to go au-natural and left with a wet head to go eat dinner. My hair looked fine at first but by the time I got back to my room after supper the frizz had settled in. I had to make a presentation the next morning to 150 people and this was just not how I had envisioned doing it. I had to make a plan.

One thing that I have always found helpful in difficult situations is to accept the worst and then work to improve it. Worst case: I have frizzy hair. Most of the people who were going to be in the audience didn’t know me, though they’ll think I did a bait-and-switch on the head shots in the conference program. They would think I meant to wear my hair in a frizz ball. Once I had accepted that, I then worked to improve upon it. I wanted to make sure that wasn’t what happened.

As it turned out, the hotel had a converter that I could use, which is the one in the picture. Yes, it looks a little scary and the hum made me a little nervous, but it worked. I may need to get myself checked out for radiation poisoning at some point, but thankfully I made my presentation with perfectly strait locks. Even if I hadn’t I was ready.

How often in our lives and our businesses do we get to the first part – imagining the worst – and then stop there? Dwelling on the negative does not help. Accept the worst case scenario and then move on, working like heck to make sure it doesn’t come to pass. Although this particular incident may be trivial, I’ve had plenty other opportunities to practice this philosophy when the stakes were higher – a lost customer, an illness, or bad economic forecast – and I know it works. Have you tried it? How do you deal with unexpected events that may not be so good?

I admit it – I was nervous about venturing out into Bangkok on my own. It was surprising to me, really, because I love to travel and have travelled internationally many times. I was really looking forward to my trip, too, but had begun to get anxious about a week before my trip. I think it all started when I talked to others who had been there. They warned me about the crowds, the pollution, and the strict dress rules for getting into temples. I suppose my expectations were set fairly low and I had resolved myself to treat the trip as just business.

When I arrived in Thailand, it was midnight (a day and half after I left my home!) so I didn’t get to see much but interesting people in the streets and colorful taxi cabs. When I woke up the next morning and looked out my hotel room window, I started to feel foolish for being nervous. After all, I had wandered through many a foreign town before, except that had been almost all in Europe. This was my first trip to Asia. Why would I want to stay in my hotel room? Sure, there was work to do, but when would I be in this city again? I decided it was time to face my fear and venture out on my own. It wasn’t that the fear went away; I just pretended that I wasn’t fearful. I was practicing my own “fake it ‘til you make it” advice. And I am so glad I did!

The first people I met were from Manchester, England. They had come to Thailand because on of their daughters was getting married in Chang Mai. Then I met a group of four women who had come to Bangkok on a girls’ weekend (how come I can’t get my girl friends to do something like that!?) to shop. A couple of them just happened to be Texas A&M graduates like me or had children who graduated from A&M. They were instrumental in helping me part with my money in the silk shop. Finally, I met two women, Debbie and Jane, who were from Texas (like me!) but their husbands’ jobs had brought them to Bangkok to live for a few years. They were so nice and helpful that Debbie even offered her assistance if (and when!) I brought my family back to Thailand. To top it off, they were working on starting up a new business! Amazing. No such thing as coincidence.

The trip that started out as just business turned into an incredible experience that left me wanting more. By facing my fear and taking the tiger by the tail (yes, the tigers in the picture were real and they were spectacular!), I found a new place to travel with my family and acquired some custom-made silk clothes to boot!

Don’t laugh, but I’ve decided to teach myself how to juggle. For those of you women entrepreneurs like me, especially you moms, we already know how to juggle our lives, or at least we’re trying. Every day it seems like there is more than one ball that needs to be kept in the air between work responsibilities, home, kids, spouse, etc. But what I’m talking about here is the physical act of juggling. Yes, I went out and bought a set of three small bean-bag balls to learn how to juggle and in all honesty, it has turned out to be harder than I thought. So you’re probably asking yourself - why in the world would you want to do that? It is simple: I feel like I need to learn something new that is physical. I believe that by expanding my physical capabilities I will also augment my mental and emotional capabilities at the same time.

Think about it: when is the last time you really challenged yourself physically? As entrepreneurs, we feel challenged mentally and emotionally every day, but the physical stuff…not so much so. Sure, I exercise and maybe try to do one more set of repetitions with my weights, but that’s not the same thing. I am talking about doing something that you’ve never done before. Something you’ve always wanted to do.

One thing that I’ve noticed in my attempts to juggle thus far is that I am failing…A LOT. I drop more balls than I catch but find the failure good for me. It’s humbling. It’s FREEING. I don’t HAVE to be good at everything I do. By trying something new, I’ve given myself permission to be a student again. To learn. To practice. To grow. I’ve given up the notion that this new skill is something I can acquire in a weekend. It’s going to take longer and it’s going to take a lot of practice. That’s a good lesson to embrace, because every new thing we do in life generally takes practice. It takes time. And most of the time, it’s uncomfortable. I mean - my kids LAUGH at me (lovingly, of course). But they’re no better at it.

In talking with mom entrepreneurs, I realized that by definition of what we do we are all jugglers. I don’t think it is limited to parents, either, because I know many folks without kids who happen to have lives outside of the companies their building or running. Really - it’s possible! So one of my other goals in taking on this new challenge is that when I give a speech to busy people and talk about balance, I want to be able to stand on the stage and juggle. In front of everyone. Crazy? Perhaps. But I’m doing it anyways! Ok, you can go ahead and laugh.

So when is the last time you physically tried something new? Did you find that you grew in other ways? What did you learn about yourself??

After staying up to catch the riveting end of last night’s Super Bowl, I heard a great quote on the news that made me think about business.

It was Perfection versus Persistence and Persistence won.

Now think about that in terms of your business or even your life. Many entrepreneurs who struggle do so because they have a hard time getting rid of their perfectionist tendencies. I find this especially true for women entrepreneurs, though the need to be perfect is not relegated to the female gender. Certainly, I know many men like that too, but the thing that kills women is that if we have that tendency, we have it in all parts of our lives. So not only does everything need to be perfect in our businesses or at work, but it creeps into our home and applies to our kids, too. From my experience, trying to maintain perfectionism in every aspect of your life, especially when there are many facets to it, is a sure road to an early grave which is accelerated if you have children.

In growing a business, you can not expect everything to be perfect. You have to prioritize and then be willing to let some things go. This goes double at home if you’re raising children while trying to grow a business or pursue a fast-track career. So what if your daughter’s shirt is wrinkled!? In my house, my kids are responsible for putting away their laundry so if their clothes are wrinkled, that’s not my problem. In business, most of my file folders have hand-written labels on them. To some people, that may feel sloppy but even though I have the labels I can print out on my computer, I rarely take the time to do it. It just isn’t important. There are things that need to be perfect or close to it, but it can’t be everything.

What is more important than being perfect in every aspect of business is being persistent. It is in keeping forward momentum when an obstacle is thrown in your path. It is looking for “How Can We?” rather than just saying “We Can’t.” What do you do to keep moving forward? Where does your ‘boot in the butt’ come from?

Persistence won the Super Bowl for the Giants (along with some great efforts by the team!). It can be the fuel of success for your business, too.

Check out my Guest Blog on the Washington Post website. It is about a teaching opportunity I had with my daughter and her homework. Leslie Morgan Steiner, who writes the column/blog every day and is the Author of Mommy Wars, opens up some great topics for discussion…and there is ALWAYS a discussion!

We are all obsessed with technology. I admit that I, too, can get easily carried away (or, really SUCKED IN) to e-mail and the internet. Some weeks, I feel like I just can’t get away from it. But at this time of year, it is CRUCIAL that we take time to put our Blackberries down, turn off our computers, and put our cell phones on silent. We all need a break.

In a recent article that was picked up by The Wall Street Journal (WOOHOO!), I shared some tips on how to make proper use of technology while vacationing, as I hope you are all doing this holiday season. One of the most essential tips for those with families is to set up strict times for checking e-mail or working, ideally in the early morning hours, and then STICK TO IT. That way, you can get done what you feel you need to and then put it away. Leave the rest of the day to focus on yourself and your family. It is hard to do - believe me I know - with all the lists of things we could be doing to move our businesses and lives forward. But when you don’t take time away from the office, you’re missing out on not only life, but some valuable down-time away from business that can actually benefit your business in the long run.

A couple months ago, HP sent me some new photo books to try out along with a portable photo printer. As is usual with my hectic schedule, I just recently got around to trying it out and am I sorry I waited! I really could have used the photo books to create holiday gifts for my mom and grandparents, but still plan to use them for other projects and maybe birthday presents.

My 13-year-old daughter actually went to town last weekend playing with the HP Photosmart A626 printer. She created a whole photo album just for herself by adding captions and clip art right to the photos through the printer’s touch screen. Her only complaint was that she could not save the edits that she made, but once she got the hang of it she created some pretty cute memories.

As for me, you have to know: I am not into scrap booking. I tried it when my kids were young and have several pages done the old, traditional way but haven’t picked it back up in almost 10 years. I just have trouble finding the time and patience to do it. Plus, so many of my photos are digital that I have to first print them out, then cut them up and arrange them. It just felt unnatural.

The nice part of the digital photo books is that you can arrange them and print them on your computer, which works out great for those of you who are like me and don’t like to do something twice. I’ve used online services for this before but felt constrained by 1) having to upload all my photos to their website and 2) being provided a very limited set of templates. These new photo books take all of that away. They come with software to help you lay it out (or you can use any program you have!) and then you just print it on your color printer. It is very simple with great results.
As a special offer to the readers of this blog, HP, in conjunction with Blue Suit Moms, is offering a 20% discount on the photo book products, but the discount only goes through the end of this year so check them out and order yours now! In addition, I have two free photo books to give away to the first two people who post a comment on this blog - tell me why YOU want to do it yourself!