In a recent e-mail from Margaret Heffernan, author of “How She Does It: How Women Entrepreneurs are changing the rules for business success”, she relayed a story that horrified me. She was speaking at Babson College and one of the students shared a comment from one of her professors. This ‘eminent’ professor told her that she could have a business, she could have a family, but she could not have both. And the Princeton Review recently named Babson College’s MBA Program the “Best Opportunity for Women” for the third year in a row. Hmmmm.
Now, giving this man the benefit of the doubt, I’ll assume he meant that she could not have them at the same time. But would that make it any better? Absolutely not.
This is exactly the type of thinking I am motivated to eradicate. “If you are serious about business, you can’t have a family or if you are a good parent, you can’t be serious about your business.” That is bunk (I would use stronger language, but I am trying to keep it clean). I have several examples I can share, as Margaret did with that student, which prove his comment is nonsense, not to mention dangerous.
Why must we propagate this idea that you can’t do whatever the heck you want? If you want to do it bad enough, you can find a way. And who are we (or who was HE) to tell this young student that she couldn’t do it? Clearly, this teacher is still in the dark ages.
One of the key factors lies in not caring what other people think and doing what works for you. Defining your OWN version of success. In interviewing entrepreneurs for my book, there was indeed a vast difference between how they managed their family and their business. One woman waited until her business was at a ‘stable enough’ point to start her family. Many of the business owners launched their companies after they had already started a family. Many had young kids, some who grew up with the business (like my own daughters).
The problem is that these stories – these entrepreneurs that are serious about their business and their families - are not being told. One woman I interviewed, who happened to own a $70M company, told me she was hesitant to talk about her kids because she was afraid it would make her seem less serious. Isn’t it time that we changed these ancient attitudes and removed the stigma? After all, this is REAL LIFE.
